We Gettin' SUPER To' Up 2-NITE.

The phone was ringing. I didn't answer it, knowing who it was.

I was just trying to enjoy a nice evening at my palatial mansion-slash-music-studio, chillaxing with my three favorite concubines. DaBuo was rubbing my back, ChiDou was knitting socks for me (the kind with individual little toe-sleeves) and WanHao was just about to beat Super Mario Brothers 2 for me so I could watch the sweet ending.

About two minutes later the phone rang again. I looked at the caller ID, "ZANE, CHRISTOPHER."

"Dammit," I would have to answer it. "WanHao sweetie, pause the game please." I picked up the receiver, "Z-Baby, what's up."

There was shuffling clatter on there other end, then, "Uh... Hello? Hey, it's me Zane. Chris."

I rolled my eyes, "Yes, Zane, what's up my man?"

I didn't even really need to ask though, seeing as how it was more or less the same thing every time--some absurd question about some damn thing he had read in some damned magazine. I had been producing some tracks for Zane--he had this insane, supernatural lyrical ability that far outstripped his intelligence. He was something of a rappin' Rainman, a genuine idiot savant. I figured I'd sign him to an unbelievably exploitative contract, make a cool mil off his first CD, watch him destroy himself with drugs and women, and then sell the story to Hollywood. Dealing with his inane questions was just part of doing business, I figured.

Inane question: "Hey, so... Um, I was just calling to ask you about the--uh... [Sound of magazine pages flicking in the background.] ...the vocal submix for the last track? Do you think maybe we should, er, boost the... [More flicking.] ...um, the 2500 Huzz range, to add presence to my voice?"

Huzz? I guessed he meant "Hz", as in "Hertz"?

"Huzz? Yyyeah, I think you're right, I definitely think we should boost the 2500 Huzz range. I think some Huzz would do your presence well." ChiDou looked up from her knitting and tittered, "Teehee!"

I winked at her and continued my conversation, "Yeah, tell you what Zane, I'll boost those Huzz and you come over tonight to test the final mix. I'll have one of the girls cook us up some dumplings, and I just got a crate of some excellent wine. We'll make a party of it, how's that sound?"

He sounded elated, "AWWW YEAH! We gettin' to' up tonight!♪" Indeed. Alcoholism is the first step to a good tragic story.

As I hung up the phone I wondered why I put up with it all. Not just Zane's buffoonery, that was the least of it. The agents, the fake parties, the music industry honchos, the "talent", all of it. Was it worth it?

WanHao's melodic voice interrupted my gloomy thoughts, "I can keep playing now? I will win now for you?"

Her moon-bright skin beamed joyfully at me, and I nodded, smiling.

I had already won.